The following is an excerpt from a graduate’s book, “So Now What? A Journey of Hope and Healing”

Chapter 6 Making Moves

Cleaning up the wreckage of your past seems impossible while maneuvering through the beginning stages of sobriety, although I had no choice but to find a way to do both rigorously and painstakingly. Every day I kept a two-part promise to myself—to do the next right thing and to not drink. It started to become clear to me that as long as I stuck to that promise, God would supply a continual flow of aid. I was building the ability to see when I made poor decisions and began taking accountability for my actions.  

In recovery they call it “keeping your side of the street clean,” and I enjoyed doing just that. It felt good to do the right thing—empowering. My peers in recovery told me I would come to know a new freedom, and they were right. I started to feel the freedom of living a life without a trail of lies and deception following me. 

The hardest part about being an honest person after you have lied for so long to yourself and others is that you know you are being honest about your decisions and choices, but your loved ones need time to accept that you are actually capable of being trusted. 

The chase for instant gratification drove part of my addiction. And even though I was becoming comfortable living a sober life, I was having a hard time letting go of that part of my ego. I assumed that because I was doing everything expected of me, everyone around me should automatically acknowledge that and accept the new Melissa.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work like that. A group counselor from my DUI Court Program, gave me some great advice on how to work through this roadblock. He told me to take the years I had negatively affected my relationships because of my addiction and double that. That’s how long it should be before I should expect them to trust me. I'm not sure he meant it literally. His message was more about giving my loved ones time to heal.

 It was a bold enough statement that it put me in check. I remembered it every time I would start to feel defeated about my progress not paying off when I thought it should. I began to focus less on my family and friends’ acceptance of my progress and focused more on where I could improve myself spiritually or where I could be of service to someone. At times it felt like my past couldn’t get behind me fast enough. Regardless, I was making moves and I wasn’t slowing down.

As soon as I faced a challenge honestly and thoroughly, I could barely catch my breath before another began. Somehow though, as each challenge arose, I received just what I needed at the perfect time. 

At first it was overwhelming how some things would just fall into my lap. Actually, more times than not, they felt like they were getting shoved down my throat. What I understand now as the Holy Spirit working miracles in my life through other people, would almost scare me.

How could someone show up and say just the right thing at just the right time without me even telling them I needed help with that exact thing? God, that’s how. He showed me I was on the right path, and as long as I kept Him as my higher power rather than turning to my self-will for direction, He would continue to deliver His grace and mercy one day at a time….